It’s two weeks into 2011 and I'm thinking about having a threesome with a couple. This is not something that I set out to do this year, my list of resolutions did not go something like:
1. Learn French
2. Master touch-typing
3. Have a threesome with a married couple from Nowra
I didn’t even have something more vague like:
3. Try to be more open minded, especially when it comes to group sex situations
I should also add that I have never participated in that sort of an arrangement. My sex life, up until this point has been mostly vanilla, wait no, maybe not that plain. Maybe it’s been more like a generic brand of Neapolitan ice-cream; not exotic, but with enough variety to please some people, some of the time.
The catalyst for this sudden change of heart (or something) was the dating website RSVP. That’s not exactly how I came into contact with my couple, I’m fairly certain RSVP only deals with the more traditional singles meeting singles scene, but it’s a slippery slope.
Between Christmas and new year I was doing the same thing as a fair portion of the population; sitting around my parents house taking advantage of their pay TV, regretting the amount of food I was eating (the ham and trifle could hardly be expected to finish themselves) and wondering what had happened to 2010. My state of mind was expertly taken advantage of by a commercial for the popular dating website and within hours I was checking out something I had previously scoffed at. Idle, weakened by an excess of food and drink and unavoidable nostalgia I was drawn to the idea of trying something new, the possibility of meeting THE ONE and the idea that next year could be different if only I’d allow myself to embrace change.
So I checked out the site, made sure I didn’t need to pay any money straight up and found enough attractive profiles to decide that joining could be worth my while. It was so easy. I settled on a pseudonym (I tried to get creative and literary but alicedowntherabbithole was cumbersome and sounded a little dirty), wrote a brief description, chose photos to crop my friends out of and before I knew it I was sending out the standard 'I'd like to get to know you, would you be interested?' messages or 'kisses'. I was internet dating.
I was instantly hooked. I loved the feeling that online I could meet anyone, someone whose path I might have never, otherwise, have crossed. I was embracing technology. I was creating a new future for myself. I wasn’t sitting around in the corner of a pub at 1AM hoping that the attractive guy in the ‘Ich Liebe Berlin’ T-shirt would talk to me, I was being proactive!
My fascination RSVP lasted a week. My obsession with Farmville had been far deeper and more enduring.
One by one I received the generic rejection ‘kisses’ (isn’t that an oxymoron) from the guys I had initiated contact with. From the attractive French multilingual man who worked in finance, from the British creative professional rocking the sunnies and stubble look in his profile pic, even from the alright-looking student whose pseudonym was that of a popular Indian curry and was a spur of the moment choice. Even he had the gall to turn me down! I tried not to take this wave of refusal to heart, I tried to respond accordingly.
In the end I rejected everyone who had in turn made the effort to contact me. I wasn’t really interested in any of them anyway. Not enough to pay money to buy the ‘stamps’ I would need to send personal emails. Not enough to actually arrange a time and place and go out and meet up with someone I felt only the vaguest attraction to. Why should I bother with all that? I probably could strike up a conversation with one of those guys in the pub at 1AM after the hipster went home with the cute bar girl.
For the most part, the men who contacted me seemed to be nice, normal, earnest people. For me, this was a problem. What was drawing these men to me and what was turning the ones I liked away? Did they think I was a nice, normal, earnest girl?
So I showed my profile to a male friend. I needed a second opinion. Why were the hot, multilingual, professionally successful, intelligent and interesting men just not into me? Tactfully he suggested the problem might lie within the site rather than within me. And this was just the revelation I needed to take the next step.
To be continued...
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